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Saturday, April 9, 2011
Nothing matters anymore , nobody
I got nothing more to say , So basically I'm fighting with my best friend & I'm fighting with my boyfriend . So how life can be much more better after this . I don't want to lose either . I want to run away , I wanna see who make an effort to run after me . I know people care to what extend ? I really need people to understand whats happening to me . I no longer can control this emotion inside . How long can i be strong ? How long more am given to live ? People don't take me seriously. Well , Fuck you . Get that ? I guess life is really all about you & how you wanna end it . Single/In a relationship nothing matters anymore . It shows how much people care . Fucking ego , please stop ruining my life . I'm sick & tired of abiding against you rule . Well , fuck you too bitch . *sigh Im not going to school anymore . I'm gone after tomorrow . I'm ending everything & I swear everything .. I'm sorry , I just need to let go . Insyirah |
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Tuesday, March 8, 2011
 " Please , mind your own business bitch. " I got alot of things to handle with & you bitches irritating morons are adding it more. I don't mind really you having my name inside your conversations but please make up your mind, is it me or you who started it first. Remember, I once said that, " If you don't bother my life, i won't trash yours ". I'm not this big f*cking thing you guys think I am but since you see me like that, awh thats thoughtful of you. Hate how i socialize with guys/girls? Then bitch, raise your standards up. Action speaks louder than words yaw ! I mean I see no harm me socializing with boys, why jealous ? Let me remind you, I choose friends to be with, those who are being themselves not somebody who tired hard to be someone else. I don't need a fake friend. All I need is a friend who can be true to herself. & please, I don't talk boys 24/7. I get tired. Cause dicks are just waste of a time to talk about. Got something crazy to share ? Sure why not. & also remember this bitch, you made me who I am today. If you can stare at me that way, why can't I? Like you say, karma is a bitch & so are you. I don't give a single fuck if you hate me. Insyirah. |
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Monday, February 21, 2011
 Its been a long time since I last updated my blogger . Hmm , so hows me life ? *thinking,wondering* Been okay/alright. Nothing much really. But school co-curricular did occupy much of my time after school & during lessons . Missed 2 days of precious time in class. Its saddening though . But still I manage to finish 80% of my model making . Good job Insyirah ! I've also been spending my time with him. People may think that we are together but we are not. I'm not trying to cheat you guys feelings but we are staying as it is because as long as we had not find the right time yet , we will just stay as friends. But that doesn't mean that we don't love each other , its just that we need space & time . Relationship needs commitment & we both understand that we need time to adapt . He may be controlling my life & my circle of friends but he did try to understand my lifestyle as much as he could hold it. Yes I'm friendly but too friendly. I decided to heed his advice & will say hi unless been approached by . I understand his sensitivity & vice versa. I just hope this time its no kids play. Close friends has been supportive from the very start. They knew how busy & my time was taken away from them. But I'm sure I'll make it up to them during the weekends. Come on , I miss you guys alot . Alot more than I use too ^^ *laughs Will update more if i got the time too. Take care , bye. Insyirah |
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Thursday, February 3, 2011
 " I Don't Know Why I'm Falling In Love Again . " Every touch thrill my spine down . Butterflies in my stomach each time you kissed me on my forehead . Why are you doing this to me ? If your for real , tell me cause I don't want to be hurt anymore . I'm tired of falling down & putting all the pieces in place again . I had enough , I'm done here .But you appear giving sincere smiles , dedicated words & strong determination to make me yours . Boy , I'm sorry but I just lose trust in every boys words . All I want was just a simple love yet so strong . I'm saying this not to ask you to stop loving me but instead be sure of what your telling me & how you want to make things happen . Everything has limits & I do have mine . I hope you respect my decision to stay this way because I'm not ready for a new relationship . I know it doesn't make any sense being this way yet in others mind we are together . But being this way I know how long can you stay & whether your willing to be with me . Once everything is okay & I am ready , I want to make you mine forever & proud to tell everyone that your the best special someone in my life that I don't wish to lose & don't wish to share . I just want to be selfish . I want you all to myself . Baby , one day will find a way out from this okay ? I love you so much . Insyirah |
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Wednesday, February 2, 2011
 " Its okay to try but don't try too hard cause eventually you'll lost it " HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR ! insyirah. |
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Monday, January 31, 2011
Written all over that face,
 " You, me, her & us " I will always be there for you no matter what happensā„ Insyirah. |
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Sunday, January 30, 2011
 " Sometimes in life, you gotta give up somethings in order not to lose the one you called love " I began to panic when i realize we are at our wits end & I'm starting to lose you. " Blah blah blah " , people bullshit everywhere saying we are still young to fall in love & get involved in this kind of things. Adults are the majority & some teenagers who think that they understand what it is then. Everyone is different. Yes we may be young but as young as we are now , we are prone to try all sorts of things. Trying to get involved & feel every feeling we could. Some teenagers preferred to spend most of their time studying while others prefer to enjoy. I love making mistakes that reminds me its reality & I couldn't run anyway far from it. We always fantasize others life to be ours, but we did not see the privileged we had & the things other teenagers wanted. We admire others while others admire us. Life is full of dramas, your the actor & also the director. But the only weakness is that you don't know how the storyline ended. Is it happy or sad ? As long as we are still breathing, we tell others that we survived. I'm still breathing. As i can say to myself, " Take criticism, Fuck others stupid opinion. " Insyirah. |
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Monday, January 24, 2011
I don't know what happen. Trust me it hurts.
 "Hunger for a puff. Gosh, I just couldn't take it anymore." This is life isn't it. Full of ups & downs. Sometimes you wish you could just give up & lie down on the bed doing obviously nothing, nothing at all. With the problems weighting down on you. With so many things you wished you have done & somethings you wish you could have prevent it from happening. Sometimes you can't push the blame on life because god gave you a choice to choose wisely which path you want to walk on. He didn't give you limited option. You just choose not to oversee the matters. Step out of the box people, I'm saying this even to myself. Stop trying to be in the safe zone because its no more safe. Theres negative & the positive of life. Nevertheless , don't take it for granted because you don't know what will happen next. I just need strength. Thats all I want from now. Insyirah. |
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011
 ( I know right, the photo. wth. ) Everything is going smoothly like what i wished for but I'm not hope-ing for more I love the way I've been cope-ing with my 2011. It is going pretty smoothly unlike my 2010 though at first there were hiccups. Like him spreading rumours about me & end up the whole family dislike me. But it ain't pulling me down though. I still have my family & friends to count on. They had been by myside from the very start. So those who left, let them be. Those who stay, I'll cherish them till eternity. Life is about learning past experience & don't make the same mistake again. So what I learn from my past is too not get too attached to a guy & not to fall in love that easily. Since this is my last year of school, i will be making full use of it. Will make my laptop my honey & finish up all assignment given. As for love, it can wait , can it ? But in the first place, who wants me anyway ? haha^^ Tomorrow is Anaqi's birthday. Hopefully I won't forget to wish by 12 midnight. Muthu big already seyh^^ Insyirah. |
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Sunday, January 2, 2011
2011. Rock On \m/
I love my people truckloads. Fuck 2010. Rock on 2011 \m/          |
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Saturday, December 25, 2010
 2010 is coming to an end . I'm glad but will 2011 be worse ? I decided to revived my blog back. Its been dead ever since. I'm more to my tumblr now . So if you want to visit it , sure thang . Your welcome too ; www.everylittlethings-iwanted.tumblr.com I've been making alot friends ever since december started . Good friends, bad friends & all sort of friends. Some are better off as fun friends while some , you can just count on them for a listening ear. December has been a good month for. Mummy pampered me with new stuff like blackberry & heels . But yea , I'm still looking forward to 2011. New life & new me . My new year resolutin : - To be happy . - Stop being lazy . - Need a long lasting boyfriend ( be it ugly or handsome ) . My new year resolution given by my friends : - No contacting boys for the whole january . - Slim down . - Spend more time with them . So many things lining up for me in 2011 . But what is for sure , i still owe my friends pit . I will book a suitable date for the bbq & for sure invites all my primary school friends . I miss them . Most prolly be in march holidays . Hmm(: sound extremely excited . Thats all for today . Tomorrow i'll update more aye ? Bout my date . Insyirah . |
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Saturday, December 11, 2010
Tell me something , I wish I hadn't known.
Thumbs up to all the jerks in the world . Almuflihin has finally told me the truth on where did he gets my number after so long we been contacting . Wait ! Its just a month ago . So guess who ? Taufik ! Yes thats my ex who had me gone haywire since he left me . I didn't realise that his those kinds of guys that would do such things as passing his own ex number to someone else . Woah , *claps . You really make me hate you more . I've long been moving on since the last step I've stop . The feeling as been great though . I don't want to be bothered in a relationship no more . Once I'm finally ready then I will go with the flow in searching for prince charming . Love isn't what I really want right now but instead I want to spend my quality time with friends & family . I really miss spending my time going out with friends, & only friends . Going for dinner with family . My time will be mostly taken up next week since I got camp . Hopefully my mind will enjoy the new breeze . & 2011 is around the corner . I just can't wait to celebrate it . A new year , a new life & going to be finally legal to the things I've been doing that is still illegal to me . ^^ 2010 has not been my year since January . There's been ups & downs in my life since . Finally I see the light coming out slowly . But too early to say . I really really wish that my 2011 will be a year to be remebered . 2011 FTW . WOOOO ! Insyirah . |
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Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Single as it is .
It doesn't matter what you say cause I won't fall in love again . I've been rejecting many guys lately . Am I normal or abnormal ? Love is no more inside me . I don't even remember how is it like to be love or fall in love . Someone please help me . Do I need medication ? Thank got its December . I can smell holiday . So many plans yet so little time . Tell me more about it . Gawd , I gotta rearrange my sleeping time . Its gonna change real soon . In the day I'll sleep like a long & night time I will be spending it outside . Woohoo . I smell freedom guys . Single & free . Insyirah . |
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Friday, November 26, 2010
Let me try something new with you.
 I'm just a normal girl who dreams big . I do want to have a boyfriend & live happily ever after . I believe in happy endings like how fairy tales do . People thinks that I'm insane but I am not . I think positively because I don't want little things/words to bring me down . I don't really care what they think as long as I know I'm happy & I'm living my life . Nothing really happen much today . School as per normal but yes , Me & Ain would come in late since there's nothing happening early in the morning . I had Councilor Team-Bonding in the evening. BBQ , but didn't stay long cause Ain needs me more . Girlfriend is staying strong because of love while me & the others hurt seeing her being treated this way . Even love doesn't like it . Love told her that all of his mean messages was pretty mean . I admit it does . But girlfriend , you need to learn how to let go . Your still young & you got more to see . See the beautiful people around you that you neglected . See the awesome/fun things you miss out . Girlfriend , I know you can go through this . Me, Love & Zaiba will always be here if you need us . Please see what we see cause your blinded by love . Insyirah. |
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Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Happy beginnings always end with sad endings.
When a kiss turns sweeter than ever. Just a smile on an Facebook page could change your life story the other way round. You thought that your life was over when you started to reject other guys & had no more urge to fall in love again. But he came, he started out by asking simple question & simple talks. As days goes by, he started to care just like a close friend does. When we felt comfortable with each other, he started to let her in his heart before he could go in hers. He took notes of all the little things the girl dreams & asked her best friend for help. He adores her face each time she look away so that he wouldn't be caught. He gaze at the girl wondering how he could enter this girl life. He did, his doing it slowly. To be continued.. |
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Sunday, November 21, 2010
learn something new shall we,
I wish I had known from the start that you were always there by me. & now I knew it has been there all along, I'm not going to give it up & let it go. So shall we start from the start? From the bottom of my heart.
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Friday, November 19, 2010
His name is Matiin.
Runaway Sometimes I can be a really mean bitch but I had a reason to it. Just don't provoked me, that would be okay. If you would like to trash my name, please do it with an evidence. No evidence? Just shut the f*cked up. Thanks. My hair is growing long. Yea! I'm going to dye it soon. Maybe highlight or full hair dye. Err, opinions? Its been 3 days since I know Matiin. It going pretty smoothly. He did help me get distracted from thinking about Taufik. But I'm not using him to forget Taufik though. I'm sincere about being friend with Matiin. His a nice guy though. He could get along well with Ain, &thank god. I was shocked when Matiin text-ed me at a random time saying ; You know what ..I'm at this place where you can see the airplanes takeoff right infront of you and how I wish you were here..hehe..^_^ It was something I wouldn't imagine him saying that to me. It was sweet of him. Thanks Matiin. Insyirah. |
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Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sometimes you just had to do it.
I'm moving on, I woke up at 10.30 am just to find a lot of miss call & messages in my phone. Err, Aidil texted me. Random much, hurhurr. There were 2 messages from Mus asking where i am because his coming down to Boon Lay. Sorry dude, I was asleep. Should had call Reza instead^^ & as usual Kimi would leave me a text saying he miss me. Kimi, his a nice guy. But I don't have the same feelings towards you. I'm sorry. I tried but nothing came out. I had a really deep conversation with him last week. I told him everything & I don't want to give him high hopes. Because this heart doesn't beat for anyone except for him. But I'm willing to gave it up , for someone special whom can replace him. I'm currently contacting Matin. A guy whom I know quite long, a facebook friend. It started out as a status, then a comment & now we are like exchanging texts. He never fail to leave a smile on every text he send. But it was just a starting. Let me see how far can it go ^^ Insyirah |
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Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Yet I fall again & again. My bad, I was blinded.
But everything was perfect, I wonder what went wrong? Me or You .. Wait, I'm proud. I've only 2 exs this year ^^ But that was just numbers yet countless heartbreaks. I wasn't this heartbreak when I left Shah, maybe because I was the one leaving him but we both were together for 6 months. Yet again, Taufik was there for me when life was not being fair. But now, Taufik left me. & my world has gone haywire. The only time when I remembered smiling was when we were still together, laughing & teasing each other. I really miss those moments & I really miss him. I tried my best not to think about him but I failed. His like all around me. Whenever I'm alone, he'll be the first person that would appear in my mind. His the first guy ever that made me hate love a lot till when they talk about love, I don't even bother to listen. I'm afraid that I might not love again. Whenever guys talk to me & suddenly they talk about being in a relationship or love, my heart will start to beat fast & I could feel my heart aching in pain. I would ask why? Why now? Why not years ago when Nazri left me. Why must it be Taufik? This tears won't stop falling. It hurts every bit. Please go, I'm just 17? Still long way to go. Many things to learn. Making new friends, girls/boys. I keep reminding myself that everything happen for a reason & I'm not ready yet for love. I have friends around me that I could count on. Beautiful people. For now, I'm going to give my full attention to my studies, council & outside plays. I'm spending my time with girlfriends/boyfriends. I'm going to work hard & reach for the success that I've been aiming for. Amin ! If ever love came, I won't push it aside. I might give it another chance. Just once. Insyirah. |